Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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