I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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