HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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