Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
