guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
