hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
