he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
