How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
