But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
