I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
