And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
