You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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