I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
