How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
