Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
