My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
