problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
