She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
