idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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