dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
