I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
