i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
