You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize