I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
