Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
