let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
