if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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