it wasn't lemon gatorade
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
