how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't turn off my feet"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize