the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
