Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
