That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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