I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
