So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
