when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
