If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
