id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
