Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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