OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
