her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize