Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
