Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
