At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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