First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
