i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
