nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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