thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Randomize
