We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
