Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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