are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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