she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
