hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
