He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
