you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
