I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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