Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
