I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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