Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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