Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize