I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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