hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
a search helicopter?!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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